Monthly Archives: April 2007

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Ive been tagged by Dianne

A – Available or single: this is the wrong question should have
been Available or Taken: TAKEN
B – Best friend: Ginger (girl) Philbert (boy)
C – Cake or pie: cake
D – Drink of choice: Coke
E – Essential item you use everyday: cell phone
F – Favorite color: blue
G – Gummy bears or worms: pass
H – Hometown: Makati City
I – Indulgence: eating all the cakes and desserts that I want
J – January or February:Jan because its JOSHWA’S birth month.
K – Kids & names: Joshwa Dominik(Joshwa means God is gracious Dominik is a german name for Dominic meaning belonging to God)
L – Life is incomplete without? Love and laughter
M – Marriage date: July 15,2000
N – Number of siblings: 2 Sisters
O – Oranges or apples: oranges
P – Phobias or fears: heights , rats
Q – Fave quote: God is good all the time.
R – Reason to smile: Joshwa’s antics & the coming baby
S – Season: FALL
T – Tag 5 people:
U – Unknown fact about me: I used to be an Angel Card Reader, I actually studied Reiki finished level I would have wanted to go
Thru Level 2 but It didn’t happen so It wasn’t meant to be.
V- Vegetable you don’t like: ampalaya,
W – Worst habit: slacking off when it comes to chores
X-rays you’ve had:
Y- Your fave food: CAKE, ICE CREAM
Z-Zodiac sign: Libra

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Philbert and I are not talking to each other at the moment.
What started with something so small and trivial is now
starting to get so complicated. He did something and I got
hurt.The weird part is that whatever it is that he thinks
that I did which was beyond my control doesn’t fit what
his reaction should have been (no he didn’t hit me).
So instead of the usual confrontation I did something
that I never thought I could do which is to stop talking and
just shut up. I would see him and ignore him and last night
I left Joshwa with him and he put Joshwa to bed. I think the
silent treatment will give both us time to think and cool down.
Do I still love him? of course I do. Its just that sometimes
he can bring out the best in me can and also bring out the worst in me.
Im sure we will eventually talk to each other we live in
the same house. I do miss him a lot. I miss waking up
beside him and I miss him hugging and kissing me when he gets
off from work. I miss just talking to him and telling him stories
about how my day was and I do miss the corny jokes.I miss my best friend..
I know you’ll probably think that why can’t I just say I’m sorry and be done with it. Because with Philbert its not that easy you may say all the sorry and mean it but when he’s hurt he is really hurt. He needs it to be him to make the first move.

Adoption

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My sister in law will be adopting a child from
the Philippines. Well i’m not surprised because
she loves Cyrill like her own child and now she
has decided to take the plunge and start the
adoption process. I’m going to help her through
it I mean I’m going to do research so that she’ll
know what to do and what to expect. Thinking of
adoption makes me think about Andrea. I miss her a
lot and I feel so bad that I couldn’t fight for her.
I wish I had the money and the resources so that I
too can adopt her.Everyone thinks i’ve moved on from
that experience but I haven’t. I think about her
everyday and I hope that she is well and I cry when
I hear that she’s not being treated as well as she
should. But I will never trade that experience of
being her mom even for a while.. for a short time.
No one can replace her.. I could have kids of my own
but still my longing for her and concern will always
be there. Maybe someday soon God will make a way.
Someday soon….

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I can’t stop gushing about my husband Philbert has been so amazing
he has been cooking, taking care of Joshwa & putting Joshwa to bed.
He has really stepped up to the plate and took care of things.
When I am unable to do so. I’m thankful that we had a chance
to move and start over in all honesty this has saved our marriage.
Of course sometimes we have our moments where we fight because
no one can upset me like he can. But at the end of the day
no one can comfort me and make me laugh like he can. When we lost
the baby I was beside myself I was crying and he held me and
let me cry he didn’t need to say anything. I knew I was going
to be okay because he’s here and whatever crazy thing I do
he puts up with me and my moods. I know that our kids are so lucky
to have Philbert as a dad.

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Joshwa is sick. He had to stay home from school because he has a cold.
The teacher bluntly told me that if he has a cold he should stay home
because the school is not a daycare center.So despite the fact that I’m not
feeling well I have to take care of a sick child and risk catching the
cold.(I hope not)

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Went to the doctor today and had a PAP.
To be honest ayoko mag pa pap smear.
I know its important pero something
about the feeling that you are vulnerable.
Half naked and all.. Will come back again
on May 23. By that time I’m done with the
First Trimester. Medyo makakahinga na ako
ng maluwag.

Finally did a LAYOUT using my Basic Grey Papers.
Will finish it off tomorrow then upload it.

I hope I could more..